Why I don't go to Student Council GBMs

Question put to Presidential Candidate: You say you will put the interests of the majority above yours, but in the last GBM I and others stated that we had problems with the dogs on campus. Yet, I have seen you feed them and pet them everyday. And then they come and shit in front of my door. What do you have to say to this?

(Aside: Animal lover – definitely gets my vote:))

Part of speech by candidate for Screening Secretary: I propose to screen C-grade and porn films as I think it is important for our education.

And if you’re wondering why the student body puts up with this idiocy till 4 am it’s because most of them are too stoned to move a muscle.