GO AWAY

A few days ago I met up with a psychologist friend of mine. After visiting four therapists himself for a recent personal crisis, he has denounced psychology and has decided to take up organic farming instead.
He says we all know what we have to do, we are just too lazy to do it.
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I don’t know why thoughts of him keep surfacing up in my head, in my heart. How could he be so thoughtless, so insensitive etc etc etc. Prayers wishing him ill, wishing he fails in everything he ever does. What I will say to him when he next contacts me.
It’s crazy.
Suddenly for no reason at all, out of the blue, my mind will start chanting his name like a mantra.
Yes, I see it was my fault, but I also can see clearly why I acted so unreasonable.
I don’t want to be back with him, I don’t think he has any character.
I can still feel bad for him, I see his vulnerability, though he seldom admits it.
Maybe this is just a nice excuse I am building for myself, a person to dump all blame on.